One thing that brings all the enjoyment in the world is binge-watching a good TV show. As we binge-watch our favorite shows, it’s easy to get lost in the lives of the characters we love. A lot of times we find characters that we relate to, we love them or admire them because we see ourselves in them. Have you ever wondered what these character’s attachment styles say about them? Attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. It suggests that the way we bond with others (specifically caregivers) in early childhood shapes how we connect with people throughout our lives and impacts our relationships in adulthood. The four main attachment styles – secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized – can give us insight into how these characters navigate relationships. So, let’s take a deep dive into the attachment styles of five beloved TV characters.
Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City (Anxious Attachment)
Carrie Bradshaw – the well-known writer, fashion icon, and generational wild woman from Sex and the City, is the embodiment of the anxious attachment style. Anxious individuals often seek constant reassurance and fear abandonment in relationships. Carrie’s rollercoaster romance with Mr. Big is the biggest example in her arc. Throughout the show she struggles with insecurity, constantly questioning her worth and Mr. Big’s feelings for her. Carrie often overanalyzes situations and relies heavily on the validation of her partner, leading to significant emotional turmoil.
Her deep need for connection sometimes leads her to neglect her own needs, and she can become fixated on her relationships to the point of obsession. While Carrie has moments of growth, her anxious attachment shows up in her fluctuating self-confidence and a constant craving for love and affirmation.
David Rose – Schitt’s Creek (Secure Attachment)
David Rose, the fashion-forward, comedic son of the Rose family in Schitt’s Creek, may seem like an unlikely candidate for a secure attachment, but his evolution throughout the series highlights a shift toward security. In the beginning, David is known for his sarcasm, reluctance to get close to others, and often avoiding emotional vulnerability. The first few seasons, he occasionally lends himself towards avoidant attachment but as he builds a relationship with Patrick, we see David grow emotionally.
David’s secure attachment becomes evident as he learns to trust and rely on Patrick. He becomes more comfortable with vulnerability, opening up to others, and develops a healthy emotional connection. While David is still quirky and unique, his secure attachment allows him to nurture his relationships in a balanced way. He knows when to lean on his partner and when to support him in return—qualities that a securely attached individual embodies.
Chandler Bing – Friends (Avoidant Attachment)
Chandler Bing, the neurotic, sarcastic best friend, “finance bro” from Friends, is a classic example of someone with an avoidant attachment style. Avoidant individuals tend to distance themselves emotionally, often shutting down when things get too intense. Chandler, despite his sharp wit, is deeply insecure and afraid of intimacy. This fear influences him to avoid commitment, especially in the early seasons.
Chandler’s avoidance of emotional vulnerability shows up BIG in his initial hesitance to fully commit to Monica, despite clearly having feelings for her. His defense mechanisms (humor, sarcasm, and emotional distancing) serve as a shield against the fear of being hurt or rejected. Over time, Chandler’s relationship with Monica helps him work through some of his emotional barriers, but his journey towards secure attachment is a slow and steady one.
Jessica Day – New Girl (Anxious Attachment)
Jessica Day, the quirky and lovable teacher from New Girl, displays many traits of an anxious attachment style. Like Carrie Bradshaw, Jess craves connection and can become overly dependent on her relationships for validation. She often struggles with fear of rejection, and her overly zealous approach to romance and friendship can make her appear desperate at times.
Her attachment anxiety is largely visible in her relationships with her roommates, specifically Nick. Jessica tends to take things personally, overanalyzing situations and assuming the worst when there’s a lack of communication. However, as the show goes on Jessica learns to become more secure in her friendships and romantic relationships. She begins to find more balance and trusts that love and support will come naturally when she allows space for it.
Daenerys Targaryen – Game of Thrones (Disorganized Attachment)
Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones is the epitome of disorganized attachment. Individuals with this style often have a difficult time reconciling their need for love with the fear of being hurt. Daenerys’s journey is filled with emotional turmoil, and her attachment style is rooted in the trauma she experienced in her childhood. Raised in exile with a complicated relationship with her family, she develops a sense of mistrust and fear of abandonment from those around her.
As Daenerys seeks power and control, her relationship with her emotions becomes increasingly disorganized. She jumps from intense love to extreme detachment, often displaying erratic behaviors. Daenerys’s attachment style leads her to push others away while simultaneously longing for deep connection. Her tragic end shows how unresolved trauma and disorganized attachment can ultimately lead to destructive patterns.
Wrapping up, attachment theory is a powerful tool for understanding how people – both real and fictional – navigate relationships. The attachment styles of Carrie Bradshaw, David Rose, Chandler Bing, Jessica Day, and Daenerys Targaryen offer valuable insights into how their early experiences shaped the way they connect with others. While these characters are complex and multifaceted, understanding their attachment styles adds an extra layer of depth to their emotional journeys. So, the next time you’re watching your favorite TV show, take a moment to think about what attachment style your favorite characters might embody. You might just see them in a whole new light and learn something new about your attachment style as well.
