Kristi Schwegman, LCSW

What does it mean to think and speak relationally?  It simply means to think in terms of “we” rather than  “me and you,” or even worse, “me versus you.”  

This is a book I often recommend to others.  These are my personal notes from the book.  These are not all direct quotes, but also paraphrases and added commentary from

This is a book I often recommend to others.  These are my personal notes from the book.  Notes are not direct quotes, but also paraphrases and added commentary from me. 

A meaningful apology is more than just muttering the words, “I’m sorry.” Learning how to make amends in a meaningful way that resonates with the other person will lead back

A Victim MindsetA victim mindset can be defined as a person that tends to recognize themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and behaves as if this

Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight with your partner. While conflict in any relationship is inevitable, healing is possible.

Disappointment is one of the most frequently experienced emotions, often with high intensity.  However, few of us really know how to deal with it.

Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened

Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well

What is the Seesaw Analogy? It’s a system that challenges you to change your own behavior rather than waiting for the other person to change. Learn more.

Let’s take a look at some common lies we tell ourselves so that we can begin to replace them with our truth and start living healthier, happier lives.

Core values point the needle of your compass, illuminating the pathway toward living a meaningful life, a life filled with passion and purpose.  Instead of allowing outside influences to shape

Words. We all use them. We all listen to them. We all communicate with them.They’re helpful. They’re useful. They’re beneficial.But yet, they can wound, destroy, and wreck our lives.Do you

Lysa TerKeurst helps you stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships by showing you biblical ways to set boundaries–and, when necessary, say goodbye–without losing the best of who you are.

We all want to win, right?  Here are some super easy ways to win in your relationships (as well as come out a loser) according to Terry Real, internationally recognized family

Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there’s also not much that’s more important. Us is a groundbreaking guide to

Do you get overwhelmed during arguments? Does something take over inside of you when you get angry? Flooding may be to blame. 

Use these questions to help you pivot your stance and empower you to see the choices you have control over. 

The goal of this template is to be able to discuss a topic where you both feel heard and understood.  Using this format can help reduce flooding or escalation that

True peace isn’t found solely in our positive thinking, our good feelings, or in our relationships with ourselves or others. It comes from God and knowing that He is in

Forgiving does not happen overnight. It is a long road but it’s doable. Our freedom is in forgiving and letting go of pain.

Most of us don’t realize that we have a surprising amount of control over our own thoughts and behaviors and can unintentionally influence our brains negatively, causing cycles of bad

Interested in learning assertive and healthy communication approaches? This blog shares 26 different ways that your communication patterns are harming your relationships and how to respond instead.

Consistent self-care increases your threshold of stability and tolerance over time.  The best way to go about this is to create your own self-care toolbox. Use the categories and examples in

This renowned author offers a revolutionary way of living in connection―one that allows you to cherish your partner, yourself, and your relationship in equal measure.

Do you believe everything you think? You shouldn’t! It’s easy for our brains to make assumptions or twist thoughts to help them fit a certain narrative that it’s created.

Mistakes are what you did, not who you are. When we react without pausing, use insecurity and fear to drive our choices, or find the quickest way to get by,

As a culture, we are constantly juggling multiple balls simultaneously, with little to no time for ourselves. Intentionally create the margin you need to keep yourself in a positive, grateful

Did you know that there are better ways to listen than others? Better listening skills can help your relationships grow stronger and healthier as you each feel heard and understood.

Everyone has their own unique set of emotional needs, that are the product of your upbringing, your genetic predisposition, your identity, and other individual factors. Understanding our emotional needs empowers us

The healthiest relationships repair early and often and also have lots of strategies for how to repair. Since every relationship is different, finding the repair strategies that work for you

Break free from the destructive power of guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy.

Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson over 20 years ago and practiced all over the world, EFT has been heralded by Time magazine and the New York Times as the couple

Christians are desperate for intimacy with the Lord. While grateful for all he has done, we long to encounter his presence in our daily lives. Amazingly, God desires the same

We Love Each Other, But…offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of

Do you ever feel like your emotions are working against you? Though we may find ourselves stuffing down emotions, exploding with emotions, or reacting somewhere in between, Lysa TerKeurst assures

With a focus on patience, the power of words, relationships, and taking action, this post will help you apply the Book of James into your daily life.

Strategically written journal prompts and affirmations have been chosen to get you thinking in a positive direction.

Learn to accept responsibility, to stop using blame as a scapegoat, lower your defenses, and begin to realize the starring role you play in your life.

Words. We all use them. We all listen to them. We all communicate with them.They’re helpful. They’re useful. They’re beneficial.But yet, they can wound, destroy, and wreck our lives.Do you

Mental health challenges have been on the rise, especially since Covid and all that has transpired since 2020. Even if you’re not struggling with diagnosable mental health concerns, you may

Marriages have rough patches, stressful transitions, and unexpected tragedies. It’s normal and healthy to realize that you need help. Here are a few tips for finding a good marriage counselor.

To understand the difference between happy and unhappy couples, John Gottman, a leader in couples research and therapy, began doing longitudinal studies of couples in the 1970s.  From his research,

Most of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13.  It’s often recited at weddings and plastered on knick-knacks.  But what can it teach us about our relationships?  How can it

Negative feelings toward your partner can creep up on you as days, months, and years go by. This may be why couples, on average, are six years late to start

We all have conflicts.  It’s impossible to see eye-to-eye in every conversation and hold the same perspective with everyone we communicate with.  So how do we manage conflicts, minimize frustration,

Do you make excuses?  Do you justify and list a myriad of reasons why you should or shouldn’t do something? 

Making the choice to go to couples counseling is a big step. Additionally, if you aren’t familiar with what therapy is all about, it can feel mysterious and confusing.

Healthy communication leads to a healthy connection with others.  Likewise, unhealthy communication leads to an unhealthy connection.

When you start practicing these 10 worry snatchers, watch your life change. The positive reinforcement that will naturally occur will keep you practicing to let those worries go.

At Kellen Mental Health, therapists help clients by getting to know them as a whole, complete person. A client’s problem might not be obvious and insight can be found through

If you’re looking to improve your relationship- whether dating, engaged, or married- virtual couples counseling may be a good option to consider.

It’s a frightening, uncertain time in our world. Everyone has been effected in big and small ways since the coronavirus wreaked havoc in our country. As a couples counselor (and

Learning how to communicate effectively, resolve problems easily, and learn to forgive the mistakes we inevitably make are excellent skills that dating couples can learn in therapy. A trained counselor

Having a healthy marriage involves more than just being in love. Making a conscious effort to communicate, prioritize your partner, and work through challenges together is key. Learn more about

We’ve all heard the word “forgiveness” in some form or other.  But few people understand what it really means.  We like it when people forgive us, but not so much

Do you pause before you speak, respond, or make a choice? This pause is where maturity and wisdom lie. Pausing makes guilt and shame disappear right before your eyes.